Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c. Tell me an example.
Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he
put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying, "Free to good home.
You want it, you take it." For three days, the fridge sat there without even
one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were
skeptical about such a good deal, so he changed the sign to read, "Fridge
for sale, $50." The next day, someone stole it.
#############################
JOB
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a
job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found
four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and
ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them
would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the
interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, A THOUGHT.
It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way;
it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you
sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and
goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest
thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...
that's a very popular clichi for speed." He then turned to the third man
who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and
on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out
across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an
instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he
had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same
question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's
obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said
the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I
wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could
THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Santa's father gave the following advice to his son about to be
married. "Puttar (son) if you want things from your in-laws, be
sure to pitch your demand high. If you ! want cycle, ask for
scooter; if you want motorcycle,
ask for Maruti. Always ask for something higher than you need.
Santa who wanted no dowry, imbibed the lesson. When his
father-in-law asked what he wanted, Santa replied " Give me
the girl's mother"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Interviewing Applicants
A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?"
The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "twenty-two."
The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a calculator and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.
The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v. Commr of Stamp Duties, two and two was proven to be four.
The last applicant was an accountant. The businessman asked him, "How much is two and two?"
The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?"
He got the job. !!!!!!!!!!!!!
******************************
Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he
put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying, "Free to good home.
You want it, you take it." For three days, the fridge sat there without even
one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were
skeptical about such a good deal, so he changed the sign to read, "Fridge
for sale, $50." The next day, someone stole it.
#############################
JOB
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a
job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found
four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and
ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them
would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the
interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, A THOUGHT.
It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way;
it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you
sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and
goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest
thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye...
that's a very popular clichi for speed." He then turned to the third man
who was contemplating his reply.
"Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and
on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out
across the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an
instant. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he
had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same
question.
The last man replied, "After hearing the three previous answers, it's
obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA." "WHAT!?" said
the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said the fourth man. "You see the other day I
wasn't feeling so good and I ran for the bathroom. But, before I could
THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Santa's father gave the following advice to his son about to be
married. "Puttar (son) if you want things from your in-laws, be
sure to pitch your demand high. If you ! want cycle, ask for
scooter; if you want motorcycle,
ask for Maruti. Always ask for something higher than you need.
Santa who wanted no dowry, imbibed the lesson. When his
father-in-law asked what he wanted, Santa replied " Give me
the girl's mother"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Interviewing Applicants
A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?"
The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "twenty-two."
The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a calculator and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.
The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v. Commr of Stamp Duties, two and two was proven to be four.
The last applicant was an accountant. The businessman asked him, "How much is two and two?"
The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?"
He got the job. !!!!!!!!!!!!!
******************************